Healthy Boundaries

April 2018

Greetings Friends!

As always, I hope this letter finds you happy, healthy, and feeling loved!

It seems like Spring has finally sprung! Well....at least it showed up for a day or two, right? Definitely long enough for a few little flowers to re-emerge after a long winter's nap! As I marveled at their colorful beauty, I noticed a few other plants making their way up through the dirt and mulch, stretching themselves towards the heat of the sun. Also stretching themselves into the space where the flowers are trying to grow. Oh dear. It's that time of year again where I have to wrestle in my head about killing weeds so that the other plants may thrive. I mean...who am I to decide which living thing gets to grow strong and which one gets plucked up and thrown in the compost pile? Ugh. Then I start to wonder what type of natural system of boundaries do plants have? At first glance, there doesn't appear to be one. When they are establishing their root system and beginning their cycles of life, is there such a thing as personal space? In the natural order of things, it seems like it's all about the survival of the fittest. I suppose that makes sense, but it seems a bit rude for the stronger, more aggressive plants to just take over...I'm just saying.

I definitely haven't figured that all out but it did prompt me to start thinking about the way us humans interact with one another. About personal space and healthy boundaries and why do we need them?

For those of you who know me, it's no secret that I am a hugger. Not just a casual goodbye hugger. Like....a SERIAL hugger. A 'you may not know you need a hug but I'm going to give you one anyway' kind of hugger. I hug people, I hug animals, and I even hug a tree every now and then. I believe in the power of human contact and expressing love to everyone and every thing. And there have been studies to back me up about the power of hugs and how hugging is emotionally, physically, and mentally healthy. Hugging increases emotional bonding through the release of oxytocin in the brain, relieves pain, elevates mood, alleviates stress, reduces worries of mortality, balances nervous system, and more good stuff. Aren't hugs great?

But all of this leads me to sometimes wonder....does everyone I meet really want a hug? How many times a day am I encroaching on other people's energetic layers of personal space with hardly a smidge of permission? Doesn't everyone need and want love in the form of a hug? If I am to be honest with myself, the answer is probably no.

Sadly, I may need to adjust my philosophy, and my hugging practice, just a bit. After all, how would I feel if a stranger came at me with a gallon of green juice and poured it down my throat without permission? It may be good for me but I'm pretty sure I would prefer to have my green juice when I want my green juice (like... after I've eaten too many cookies). Perhaps the green juice example is extreme. But it does demonstrate that even a serial hugger needs boundaries.

So what are personal boundaries really? Is it just about physical contact or that funny imaginary line that we draw around ourselves with an imaginary sign that says "By Invitation Only"?

Nope.

When we're talking about personal space, we aren't just talking about our homes, our bodies, or possessions (an extension of our personal space). Physical personal space may be the most obvious, but not necessarily the most common. Personal space also includes our emotions (what we share, how we share, and with whom we share how we're feeling) as well as our energy (how we use it for ourselves and for others) and our TIME. I've been known to talk people right out of a room....so I'm pretty sure I'm a frequent offender on this one, too.

I think that it's safe to say that we all have our own levels of comfort with physical, verbal, emotional,and energetic interaction. We know that each person (and animal and plant) is made up of their own personal experiences and energy that makes us each unique. So it would stand to reason that each person has their own unique levels of comfort when it comes to their own personal space....and the boundaries necessary to maintain that comfort level. So, while there may be plenty of social norms and even boundaries backed by our legal system that most people follow (I said most), each person is unique when it comes to what does and doesn't feel comfortable.

Take my husband, Paul, and I, for example. We're at a party. He loves attention. Like, a lot of attention. He thrives in a room full of people, telling jokes and stories and having others tell him how great/funny/good looking he is. Me? I'm the one in the corner, playing with the dog. Or cat. Or my shoelace. Conversely, I am an open book when it comes to conversation content. When I do engage in chit chat, I have no problem talking to others about my personal life or bodily functions or my past or whatever. No topic is off limits. Paul, however, would rather keep his personal business private. He would be mortified if I told anyone about the time.....(haha! you didn't really think I'd go there, did you?)

Simply put....different people, different boundaries.

Since we're all so different, how do I know if I'm overstepping someone's physical, emotional, energetic/time boundaries? Will I offend my friend if I ask to borrow her car or if I ask a stranger "What's wrong??" when they've clearly been crying? How do I know if I'm driving my neighbor bonkers with my long winded texts and the endless favors I ask?

The answer is....a lot of the time I don't know. Unless I'm given a clear message from the the other person, I might assume we have a similar boundary structure.

And, yes, I am a psychic medium. But, no, I am not a mind reader. So in order for me to respect another person's boundaries, I might just need that other person to communicate what theirs are. Then it is up to me to adjust my behavior. And in order for other people to know what my boundaries are, I need to let them know as well.

It may not be easy, but it is important for us to communicate when our boundaries are being crossed. To be gentle, but firm, when we express our need for physical or emotional space. To be clear and direct and honest so that there are no questions about where we stand and what we will and will not do...or tolerate. And above all else, to be kind and loving in expressing our needs.

Does this mean that others will always honor and respect our boundaries even when we communicate nicely and clearly? Well, maybe in the fantasy world in my head. But in this world, there will always be challenging situations and people in our lives who push our boundaries (and our buttons). And we have no control over their actions or behavior. But what we do have control over is...ourselves. We do have the power to set healthy boundaries, to communicate them to others, and to make choices for ourselves that honor them.

With only 24 hours in a day, it's also important for us to find a happy balance between sleep, family, friends, work, rest, fun, exercise, and all the other stuff we need or want to do. To find balance and to operate efficiently, we must manage our time and energy levels carefully. Pushing too hard, or spending too much time with people or situations that are draining, can deplete our energy very quickly. This is why it's so important to establish energetic boundaries and to honor them. It's okay to say no when you need to. It's okay to take time for yourself to refuel. It's okay to choose not to spend time with people who make you feel lousy. It's okay to stay home when you feel like you've been pushing yourself too hard. It's okay to ask for help when you need it. It's even okay to say no thanks to a hug

The Universe doesn't stop when we take care of ourselves and seek to find balance in our lives. It keeps going. If honoring our time and energy means saying no to someone, it is likely that they will find a yes from someone who is in a better place to assist. We're not meant to give and give and give until we are depleted. It's all about balance. Lend a hand when you can. Give when you can. Make sacrifices when it feels right to do so. But remember that you'll be better equipped to help others when you've put your oxygen mask on first.

Sending love out to all those who need/want it and prayers to those who may be hurting today. May you find peace in your heart and a smile on your face no matter what is happening in your world. And if you need a place to go to lift your spirits, I hope you'll stop by sometime

Here's what's happening at Light Works this month...

Ranessa Porter is back on April 7th & the 15th to teach the beautiful healing modality of IET. On April 7th she'll be teaching "Integrated Energy Therapy (IET) Basic Level" . Learn how to enlist the help of the angels using the beautiful technique of IET in this fun, interactive one day class. If you like the idea of working with the angels and you're interested in healing others...or receiving angelic healing, you won't want to miss this! Ready to take it to the next phase of IET? Ranessa returns on the 15th to teach "Integrated Energy Therapy (IET) Intermediate Level" .

Next, I'll be teaching Meditation with Intention...to Connect with Spirit! on April 8th. Want to learn how to connect with Spirit? In this class, you'll learn my method of connecting with the angels, spirit guides, and loved ones...and, yes, anyone can do it

Need a little help with creating healthy boundaries?? On April 10th, join us for "Let's Meditate! Guided Meditation Night: Healthy Boundaries & Saying No". Relax and leave all of your stress behind as tap into the many health benefits of meditation!

I'll be joining fellow medium, Stacey Nichole, on April 18th for an evening of channeled messages at "Voices of Spirit - Mediumship Gallery featuring Juli & Stacey!". Come out and witness the amazing connections and loving messages from Angels, guides, and loved ones on the other side! Those in the Spirit world are always around and want to help us to heal, to feel loved & supported as we navigate our way through life in the physical world. A mediumship gallery is a wonderful way to experience this beautiful connection...hope you'll join us!

On April 19th, we'll be getting together for "Let's Play" - Animal Communication! Have you ever wondered what it would be like to talk to animals? Well, here's your chance to learn how. Our pets are tuning into our energy all the time and would love for us to understand what they have to say. It's easier than you may think!

Have you been thinking about learning Reiki? We've got Usui Ryoho Reiki Level I Certification class coming up on April 21st/28th . Whether you're interested in learning how to give Reiki to yourself, wish to share Reiki with friends & family, or want to begin a Reiki practice....this is the perfect opportunity to jump right in! Looking for a class that offers CE credit hours that you can apply towards your massage therapy license requirements? Receive 10 CE hours when you take this class!

Next, we'll be getting together on April 25th for Movie Night! to watch...."Sensitive - The Untold Story" . This groundbreaking documentary explores the topic of highly sensitive people (HSP), also known as empaths. The film is based on the findings of bestselling author-psychologist, Dr. Elaine Aron, who discovered the brains of sensitive people actually work differently. Learn about the science-y side of what it means to be an empath! Come hang out with me and other like minded folks for a chill night at the movies ...popcorn provided

Join Rebecca Thompson on April 26th for TRE: Trauma Release Exercises with Rebecca. Learn about the benefits of TRE and how these exercises can assist the body in releasing deep muscular patterns of stress, tension, and trauma. I've yet to learn about this modality but it sure looks interesting!

This month's special is all about your furry, feathered, scaly, and fishy friends. Did you know that Animal Communication and Animal Reiki can be done remotely? In fact, often times it is easier for the pet to receive energetic healing, or to communicate with me, from a distance. Without all of the distractions of having a visitor or being in a strange place, animals are sometimes better able to focus on the energetic/psychic connection this way. If you have a pet that you would like to treat to an Animal Communication and Reiki session, take advantage of this month's special - Animal Communication & Animal Reiki Session Combo for $100 ($50 savings!) . For more information and instructions, see below.

You may have heard already but in case you haven't.....WE'VE MOVED!!! Light Works is now located at 9411 Battle Street in Manassas! It's taken a couple months to get everything in order but the new space is all done and ready to go. And to celebrate, we're hosting

Light Works Battle Street Grand Opening!

on the 27th from 5:00 pm to 7:00 pm. I hope you'll stop in to check out the new space!

And lastly, we'll be closing out the month with the Animal Reiki Certification class on April 29th. This special day will combine classroom learning with hands on experience at a nearby farm. Whether you're interested in learning how to deliver Reiki to your beloved pets, wish to share Reiki with sheltered animals, or want to begin an Aninal Reiki practice....this is an opportunity to jump right in!

So, these are just a few of the things happening this month at Light Works.

As always, new things are popping up on the Light Works Meetup page . Be sure to join the group to receive announcements. Stay tuned, stay connected, and stay in touch!

Sending lots of healing energy and LOVE to you all...hope to see you soon!

In love & light,

Juli <3

Juli Richardson

Certified Reiki Master Teacher, Psychic Medium, & Animal Communicator

Call 703-926-4499 or email lightworksreiki@aol.com to schedule a reading or healing session for you or someone you love